Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My First Crush

Memory is funny sometimes. In my younger days some memories I remember vividly, others I remember as snapshots. This particular memory is one of the ones that I remember a lot of. The year was 1992 and I was in second grade (8 years old) and I was in love with the cutest girl in the class. Her name was Kelly (Kelleigh?, the name was one of the things that aren't so vivid), and now I'm going to tell you the story of my first crush.It was my first year at what would be my grammar school for the next 6 years and on the first day I remember thinking she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Of course at that time I had only seen like 10 girls in my whole like so what did I know. Anyways I had a crush on Kelly for quite a while, but finally worked up the nerve to tell her on Valentine's Day. 

Everyone in the class had to get a valentine, but I got my mom to help me make some special ones for the girls. I saved a very special one for her. I remember I wrote a note in Kelly's valentine where I basically confessed my true feelings for her. As an aside, I somehow wrote this in without my mom's knowledge. I can't explain how I managed that being 7 years old, but I was a bright boy so I can't say I'm surprised.

Anyways I gave everyone their valentines and gave Kelly's her specially made one secretly. I walked away all flustered awaiting her response. She walked over to me later and asked me if I really had a huge crush on her (I must have written something to that effect in the letter). I told her I did and she didn't believe me, saying literally that. That was the end of the conversation as I recall.

I was devastated. 

On the bus ride home, I cried. I think I cried the whole way home. I was heart broken. How could the girl that I loved so much not love me back? What is this love emotion anyway? Isn't that how this works? You say "I love you," and then someone says it back. Right? 

Thankfully my love torn heart wouldn't suffer for much longer. About 15 minutes after I got home I received a phone call. It was Kelly!

(To this day I have no understanding of how she got my phone number. Our number was listed under my mom's name, which even at the time wasn't my last name, in the phone book. Back then the phone book was like Googling someone.)

She called me to tell me that she was surprised that I had a crush on her and that she had a crush on me too. I was floored and excited. I have no description for how I felt at the time because all the emotions were so new to me. I do remember spending the entire rest of the conversation on the phone under the dining room table.

Sadly I don't remember much of the romance after this point. We used to play soccer as a class at recess everyday and the girls would walk around the parking lot. Kelly actually used to play with the guys and I would spend my time hanging out with her after Valentine's Day. I also didn't know her phone number and so our phone conversations depended on her calling me. I tried to call her once using 411, but didn't know anything about her parents so I couldn't figure out her phone number. 

When school ended I spent the entire summer thinking about her and couldn't wait to see her again. On the first day of 3rd grade, Kelly was nowhere to be seen. I never saw her again, and once again I was devastated. What once was an exciting romance ended before I even knew it. Still to this day I have never been contacted or in contact with Kelly.

And that is the happy and sad tale of the first girl I ever loved.

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