Friday, March 11, 2011

Behold My Cosmic Power...

...and itty bitty living space. Don't you just love Aladdin? But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to tell you what would be my favorite super power would be. As in, if I could have any one power what would it be? I could fly, I could have super strength but be limited because I have no ankles, I could even pull objects out of hats.  Useful objects...

But that isn't what I want. To find out you'll have to follow me into the realm of the link.
The power I want to hold is time control. I want full control of time itself. What couldn't you do if you controlled time? Absolutely nothing. 

From a physics standpoint time and space are one so controlling time would give me control of space. I would probably be able to bend the world at will, but I would also have the abilities of instantaneous movement. I would go here and there. I would travel far and wide. Oh the wonders of movement I could enjoy!

That wouldn't be the end of it. I would be able to control the speed of time too. I could slow it down, speed it up, or even bring it to a halt altogether. Since I complain too much about being nearly 30 I don't think I would speed up time too frequently. But slowing time down and stopping it would be very useful. 

First I would use my powers for evil. I would profit from my ability to slow down time by playing professional basketball. Sure I could do something easy like gamble on sports (cause I could go back in time too), but not only would pro basketball bring me riches, but it would also bring me fame. Then once I'm rich I would use my powers for the good of mankind. I don't know what I'd do though because I haven't put any thought into that, I'm still on playing for the Knicks in my master plan.

Stopping time would be a huge bonus too. I could prevent myself from aging and live forever. I could do other things that I can't think of right now too! Wow-ey Zow-ey woulc life be grand. 

Finally I would also be able to travel back and forth through time. I could go back to the time of dinosaurs and run around and pet things. I could go forward to the time of the crab people and teach them about petting dinosaurs. I could even live out my secret fantasy of going back in time with a gattling gun and mowing down the first humans and see what happens to the time-space continuum. If I mess stuff up really bad I could just go back and stop myself from doing that. If it doesn't do anything then I can just do it again to my heart's content. 

I can also test out all those scientific paradoxes and theories about not being able to time travel (since I can do it) and become the best and most famous scientist (on top of the best and most famous basketball player!). Wow there's a lot I could do and with that power I would have all the time in the world to do it.

Good times ahead...

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