Tuesday, January 19, 2010

10 Things We Hope You Never See Me Do

Stef frequently reads Cosmopolitan Magazine, Cosmo for the lay. I find the articles in the magazine quite amusing and she will frequently read the articles to me and we both have a good laugh. I'm also pretty comfortable with my sexuality (faux pas!) so I can sit here and enjoy the silly quizzes and articles and not care too much about what anyone thinks (especially you reading this).

Tonight Stef came across a column with the exact title of this post (a mere coincidence I assure you) and surprisingly I am doing and have done many of the things on that list. Not to make me feel like any less of a man, I also had my period last week. Read the list after the jump.

10. Write a comment about the latest Jon and Kate post on TMZ. I have never watched this show and will never (if they decide the 8 kids need more money). I know everything I know about the show from watching the Soup on E! and would never go to TMZ. My allegiance is with E! In a side note, I used to watch Project Runway quite frequently and I might post something there.
9. Get engrossed in the book LA Candy. I honestly have no clue what this is, and I don't like to read books.
8. Cover up a zit with concealer. Ok I'm not that comfortable with my sexuality. My mom has asked if I wanted to get a manicure, which I would do, and Stef asked me once if I would cover up a zit. NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I EVER DO THIS! Trust me you would be surprised at what is on this list that I do...
7. Bake brownies... wearing an apron and oven mitts. Ok this one isn't fair. Any self respecting fat person has baked brownies. And the pan is just too hot to take out of the oven with your bear hands. The apron is just stylish. I do this while baking lots of things, and Stef's family believes that I bake either for fun or want to do it for a living. Jason is livid right now!
6. Sing to Lady Gaga on the radio. In my defense, Lady Gaga is really catchy and she is on the radio at least 8 times every hour. P-p-p-poker face...
5. Work out to a Tae Bo DVD and do a high kick. I used to be completely opposed to Tae Bo, but there is a similar thing during P90X called Kenpo X. If I am going to do P90X I have to do it right and do everything they say and not alter the workouts. Yes I have to do a high kicks.
4. Lounge on the couch in a Snuggie. It is not my fault that Stef bought two Snuggies. The actually come in useful when you have to blog lists from Cosmo or need to work on Quantum homework. Back off.
3. Order chef salad with no cheese, bacon, or egg and fat free dressing on the side. Seriously Cosmo! Why does this list come out while I'm dieting for crying out loud! Can't I just be left alone for a while? Uhh, next topic...
2. Expressionist dance to Enya. This I don't do, but I have expressionist danced to The Dandy Warhols (Stef's favorite band) and you'd know why if you heard them (I do like them though). I do like this song from Enya though.

There is no way that I do this many things on this list. Ok, let's just get to number one...

1. Wear a deep cleansing pore strip on the nose. WTF?! Who doesn't want clear pores? I have an oily face and I need to maintain my good looks. If they care to add these things on, I use Olay Body wash, I wash with a loofah, I exfoliate with facial cleanser, my shampoo is Herbal Essence and I condition frequently, I use Olay deep moisturizer, and many other deemed girly things. How am I supposed to take care of my skin with the products out there for men? They don't smell nice, don't do a good enough job, and are overpriced. If I'm going to pay for the goods, I'm going to get the goods! Apparently I'm gay without being gay. Oh well, it is just entertainment. Riiiiiiight!

1 comment:

Mom said...

LOl I have to agree with you here Ant, there are no good men's products out there and don't worry I know your not the only one out there who use women's products:) Ray & Jason do and I bet I can name a few more, but I won't embarras them now:)

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