Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Worst Day of My Life (Well not that bad)

I have to admit, this happened to me a while ago and I just forgot to post about it. Let me get right to it... April 8, 1947, it was a dark and stormy night and I was scouring the city of La Ciudad de Dos Ojos...

I'm just messing.

Anyways. One Sunday night I was in the mood for a pigout. This was going to be the pigout to end my pigouts and would lead into a mini diet (to recuperate from my feasting in Boston). The plan was to go to NYPD Pizza, a really good pizza joint on the West Side of ABQ. We (Stef and I) were going to munch down wings, a meat fest pizza, and save room for dessert where I would probably eat zeppoles. It was going to be a night to be remembered, and I had made the preparations 3 days in advance (now you see some depth to my madness).

We got there and saw some rather disturbing news. The lights were off and the doors were locked and there were signs plastered everywhere. One sign said, "Dear Customers, We are sorry for the inconvenience but we are no longer able to serve you at this location. We are sorry, blah, blah blah..." The other sign read, "Notice of Eviction: Rentee has failed to make payments of rent in appropriate time and will be shut down indefinitely."

I was never going to be able to eat there again. They were the only place in ABQ (that I know of) that made the delicious Italian pastry. This news was heartbreaking.

From there we decided to get a little ice cream snack while we tried to decide where to eat. We headed over to Cold Stone Creamery because this really is the only decent place to get ice cream and is located everywhere. As soon as we arrive we find out they close retardedly early on Sundays and we are now out of luck.

I wanted a shake at the very least. Luckily there was a Whataburger nearby and they have ridiculously large shakes. I pull up to the drive through and order one large shake (which is so big no mere mortal can drink it completely). I hear this on the voice box, "I'm sorry our shake machine is down." To this I responded (over the com), "NNNNNN
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I yelled that out the window as we drove away for at least 2 or 3 minutes. I was heartbroken. I don't recall what I ate, or how I quenched my ginormous appetite, or if I even just gave in due to depression and ate unforeseen amounts of food, but I will forever remember how my top 3 choices for sustenance were unavailable to me and left me in utter ruin. I also strangely awoke the next morning in an arroyo with no clothes on and blood all over my mouth.

2 comments:

Elaine A said...

And this is different from any other typical day in the life of Anthony . . . how? Right now there is probably some poor coyote missing its leg cause some nutty human mistook it for a zeppole - LOL!

Love ya Babe
Titi Elaine

Dad said...

Believable up til the end...

but ridiculously funny and I could identify.

maybe this was a scene from catpeople where you think "oh no, I did it again"...

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