Friday, October 10, 2008

TOTG Round 3: Jesus vs Unicron

 vs
Where:
Oh yea, we're going to Tokyo

This one was a doozy folks. Unicron and Jesus decided to fight it out in Tokyo, home of the craziest stuff know to man. Also home to some of the biggest most awesome creature battles in recent times. You know what that means? That means Jesus got big...

Jesus took things to Unicron's size and fought it up Godzilla style with the robot planet. It was pretty crazy. At first they were beating each other silly and breaking everything in their paths. Then they just started messing around and just breaking things for the heck of it. Finally, Godzilla showed up and joined in the mayhem for a little bit.

After the new threesome were done wreaking havoc on humanity they decided to take in some sights. (Sidebar: In case you didn't know, Japan is home to some of the most disturbing things known to man. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.) They stopped at some kind of convention that I shouldn't talk about. Upon leaving something very strange happened.

A glowing light began to surround Jesus. Then smoke started rising from the ground. The earth began to quake, a storm approached rapidly from the North, and whatever buildings remained began to crumble. Jesus then disappeared into thin air.

Unicron was declared the winner.

My only explanation of what happened is that Jesus did something that, as God, he shouldn't have done. I'm guessing he basically canceled himself out of existence or something. That's all I got folks but it makes sense. God cannot commit sin, and if he does then wouldn't that cancel himself out. Wherever he is, I hope it was worth it...

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