Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Catching up on the last few days


That is the bill I received from the Apple Store as both my laptop battery and iPod needed to be replaced. This is just one of the things I had to deal with in the past couple of days. Why is it that everything needs to be replaced at the same time? For some reason the real world decides to take things out in one lump sum instead of small payments. J.G. Wentworth must work for nature!

This just reminds me of a time when things started breaking down at my mom's house all at once, and culminated with the breaking of the water heater. That sucked. As long as my car doesn't go out, then I'll be good.

What else has happened recently? Well, remember back in July I mentioned that my foot hurt and that it might be Gout? The pain comes back every time I do some high impact sports, so after many requests from Dara I finally went to the doctor this past Thursday.

I got some X-Rays done and there is no bone damage which is good news. Apparently I just land too hard on my foot and that is the source of the pain. I took some pictures of my X-Rays for you to see:

If you notice in this next image... that is the doctor holding the picture up for me. She was pretty awesome and took care of me. We shared some jokes, good times, and beers.

The final thing I have to report is that I bagged a scorpion at Stef's house. Check it out:

It was just chillen out in front of her pantry (in the house) ready to strike. Stef actually spotted it and was so calm. She's just chattin away on the phone and is like "Oh, there is a scorpion on the floor. Hmmm. Anyways, so the bitch was like,'...'" And just carried on like she hadn't just seen the scorpion.

I run over to see it cause I had never seen one, and then Stef is like "Let me kill it." I run to the computer to try and look up what to do. She goes off to find the bug spray (still on the phone), because bug spray kills all invertebrates. Meanwhile dude scorpion is just sitting on the floor takin it all in.

Stef goes near it and I'm all sorts of scared and paranoid. As she nears I'm like borderline yelling at her, cause I'm thinking its poisonous and lethal. So she gets off the phone and then realizes she doesn't know how to handle this monster. Then she starts to panic like there is a bat in the house or I have kidney stones. I mean screaming. Like ridiculous.

While all this is going on Keira, the dog, is trying to eat the scorpion. I literally have to grab the dog and throw her outside the house so she doesn't die (or whatever happens when you get stung by a scorpion). So now I am juggling my own fear and panic, Stef's absurd screaming and running around (literally in circles around the kitchen), and the dog's random hunger for scorpions.

Then Stef calls her dad. (Stefs dad background information: Named Bernard but goes by Lou his middle name. Cool guy, but likes to do many southern style activities ie hunt and collect roadkill. Has the fattest dog pound-for-pound I have ever seen, but the dog is cute.) He tells us to catch it and keep it for him (because he collects random animals).

Stef gives me a jar to capture this humongous creature. This thing literally was gigantic at a whopping... inch or inch .5! For all I knew, this thing was so dangerous and so fast that it may as well have been my size.

Stef and I then formulated a plan. The plan was I catch it, and if I died Stef would kill it. We looked for something that could do the deed should I fail. More likely was that I wouldn't die, but miss throwing the jar at it and run away shrieking like a 12 year old school girl named Susan. I told her to get the trash can because it was big and thus allowed for more room for error should she miss with the initial blow. Large surface area seemed to be the best bet.

So I grabbed my jar and Stef wielded her trash. We both lifted our respective weapons with menacing grimaces. If we failed at least the scorpion would know we meant business, but still he was undeterred. Then I pounced and dropped the jar over the scorpion. He didn't even flinch. I then carefully slid the lid under the jar making sure to only touch the top of the jar (in case the scorpions 5 micron stinger could penetrate glass). I got the lid under and sealed it, also getting his pincer stuck in the seal. He flailed around for a while until I tapped him to the bottom of the jar.

Mission Accomplished. To celebrate my victory I took several photos of the culprit and here is another one for you all:

I've yet to determine if this guy is really dangerous or not...

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