Monday, August 18, 2008

Top This Comment!

My advisor, Steve Koch who goes by TestingTFV in the blogger world, left me the most amazing comment to a post ever! It was like that Dwyane Wade-Kobe Bryant Alley-Oop from a few days ago... nothing will ever be so amazing ever again. Since few ever read the comments I have decided to force you all to read the entire thing... in its entirety. I will add my own comments to the comment throughout using this notation: Ant says: Words of commentation. End comment.
So without further ado, here is testingtfv said:

First of all, I command everyone to go re-read the last sentence of Ant's post. Next, I command you to agree with it, because it's true: we are both kicking ass. I love the two week update, because 50-some miles sounds like something real. Furthermore, 50-some hours of studying means that Ant is going to crush those prelims.

Basically, with 50-some hours of studying (soon to be 70-some probably) the prelims will be to Anthony as the 100-meter Olympic finals were to Usain Bolt. For those of you reading this blog to whom Physics prelims are not a routine event, my Usain analogy that I just came up with is your best bet as a glimpse into what this week's competition is going to be like for Anthony. It's basically Anthony against the stiffest competition in the world--E&M and Quantum problems--and he's going to be laughing and dancing before the exam and then going to coast to the finish.[Ant says: We are kicking major ass, as I have previously stated and Koch has stated above. In all honesty I have never felt more confident for a test probably in the past 4 years (except for some random Bio classes I took). I do agree that about one-fifth the way from the end of each test I will put my hands out and wave the tests in the air declaring my victory, just like Usain Bolt. End comment.

Look, I know you as readers of this blog have other options for getting your Olympics news. That's why Ant and I are providing you with our unique perspective that is just so captivating. It's obvious to me that you can read about Michael Phelps's (or Phelps' Ant says: I would go with Phelps's, because technically that is how it is supposed to be...end comment) miraculous comeback to win his 7th medal, and you can also see those underwater photos that should pretty much snuff out any conspiracy theories. Because seriously, from above any reasonable judge would have said that Phelps lost by at least a phalange.Ant says: This was an awesome comeback. Probably the most amazing ever. End comment.

But since you can read about all that, I wanted to give it to you in allegory form, such as I did above with the Usain Bolt analogy. I am using allegory and analogy interchangeably. But tonight at dinner, the participants in the final were me and my daughter, let's call her C. Basically the competition was for me to get green beans, chicken bundles, and milk into C, with her playing sporadic and erratic defense. Not to mention the bonus round: Augmentin Challenge (which my wife won with brute force, much like China does with her Olympic program).

In any case, the part of the Dinner Challenge that I am bragging about has clear parallels with the Phelps comeback for his medal to tie whatshisname who used to have the record. Basically, C would eat as many green beans as I could give her, but I wanted her to eat some chicken bundle. She refused and flawlessly pulled off her turn-her-head-to-her-side-and-cry-i'm-not-eating-that move. Ant says: This move would get the best of any mortal! End comment. Anyone but Michael Phelps or someone of that caliber would have quit at this point. But what I did was so unexpected and brilliant. It was a combo move that has never been blogged about before. First, I pulled out a new food, the Geber fruit bar (sort of like a respectable fruit roll-up w/o the crappy plastic thing stuck to it, and not rolled up but in a bar shape). Ant says: That plastic is crappy, and only delays the eating of the rollup in one bite!End comment. I enticed C into eating this, getting her into a "two foods" mood (green beans + fruit bar). Then, I slyly implemented the "zziiiIIIP!" game w/ chicken bundle. Well, I'd have to show you that in person, but it amounts to putting the food close to C's mouth and then quickly "ziiip!"ing it away. After a few rounds of this, she thinks the goals is to bite it before it's gone, and hopefully you get the point. This works with both of my kids, but I don't know about yours. If I were like all other writers of parent's advice books, I would disregard the fact that this is not a scientific study, and I would write a book about how you should raise your kids based upon my limited and uncontrolled experiments with my own kids. For example, "2 ways to get your kids to eat chicken bundles," or "5 reasons your kids don't speak Spanish." Well, anyway, I'm not like that, so don't go lookin' for those books on Amazon. Ant says: I'm sure all would agree when I say that you should write these children's books. Who knows how to raise kids anyways? It's all a parental learning experience, and since people don't realize that they don't need books anyways (how on earth did the ancient Egyptians get by without baby books?), you could make a ton of money off this.End comment.

Actually, I can't even remember now what my original comment was, but I'm pretty sure the Olympic theme was infiltrating my comment throughout. The Usain Bolt race was the best Olympic thing I have seen in my whole life probably. Actually, I'm not sure yet, but probably. If he were US, I'd be worried that people thought he was an arrogant prick that started the Iraq war. But since he isn't, I can just see him as some kid that fucking destroyed the 100 meter race, while coasting the last 20 meters with his shoe untied. So priceless. And that's what I want Ant to do w/ the prelims this week, or at least allegorically. Ant says: Even though the Olympic theme lost steam/meaning towards the end. We can all agree that we get the point. I am like Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt. In fact I'm the Physics equivalent and after these prelims I am going to churn out massive amounts of Nobel Prize, Science, and Nature (two great scientific journals) worthy papers and this lab will be the most important biophysics lab in the world! Then I will slowly begin my takeover and rule the world with an ...ahem. Ignore that last part.End comment.

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