Sunday, February 10, 2008

Top 5 Food Experiences

As promised here are the very best of my eating fiascoes. The odd thing is that all these stories happened after I lost all my weight, except for one story.
  1. Fast Food Mile. As you are well aware I gave up fast food for Lent last year. The Fast Food Mile started as a celebration to end Lent (like the opposite of Mardi Gra). There were about 5/6 fast food places within a mile of our old apartment and we would walk to each place and eat something from them all. We ended up not doing it after Lent, but as time went on we decided to expand the walk (as shown in the link above) and eat at every place on the route. There were 16 different places in total and we ate at every one. It was amazing. The story I told to Koch was so good he labeled it an "Instant Classic." Parts of the trek were labeled with different names: 1st was the Gauntlet which was a stretch of like 8 different places all within a half mile area, 2nd was Death Valley which was this crazy 3-4 mile stretch of no food coming immediately after the Gauntlet but preceding the next stretch, the Eliminator was the final stretch of the walk which was all the restaurants from the original Fast-Food Mile. We named it the Eliminator because after eating from 10 different places then walking 4 miles without eating, fatigue and fullness set in and this is destructive to the appetite. We finished strong though.
  2. The Ultimate Pigout. This is a sheer eating glory. The calorie count is like triple that of the previous event, but not as time consuming. The two are pretty much on the same level, but the Mile takes precedence for its marathon nature. Digression bug... Anywho, The night started because I had a coupon of buy 1 dozen Krispy Kreme get one free. Adam (my roommate in Albany) and I departed for a glorious feast. When the Hot Light is on, they come out all warm and delicious and soft and luscious. We bought a dozenglazed (the warm ones) and a dozen assorted. The two of us ate 6 each, but I hadn't had enough. At 9 donuts I was getting full, but by this point I wanted to see if I could eat the dozen. I then proceeded to put whole donuts in my mouth to finish it off. After I hit 12 I felt sick to my stomach. From here I had two options: vomit or eat something salty. I have this theory that as long as you alternate salty and sweet you can pretty much go forever, and I was gonna test it out tonight. I told Adam I needed salty and he said "Let's go to McDonalds." He asked what I wanted and I thought about it. I needed a lot of salty so I got a Big Mac. We sat in the parking lot and I ate the entire thing. I then noticed that I didn't feel sick anymore and that I was actually kind of hungry. We hit up the Wendy's across the street next and I got a Big Bacon Classic. After downing that thing I was still hungry and still in need of salt, so we got some pizza. Two slices later I declared myself done and proceeded to fester for the rest of the night. I think the final calorie count was like 7-8000 calories. It's apparent I have an eating disorder.
  3. The Titanic. This is the name of the famous dessert at a great restaurant in NYC (Times Square area and another location uptown) known as Carmine's. The restaurant serves family style meals, meaning you order something off the wall (they have menus placed randomly around the dig) and your food comes out on a giant plate. It is enough for 3-4 people, or 1-2 me's. I went with my mom, little brother, and step-dad and that means we had to order like 3/4 things because of the two of us (Jay and me). We crushed dinner and I was all ready for dessert. My mom told me stories of this mythological dessert they have called the Titanic which is this huge brownie chocolate ice cream cake in the shape of a boat. We were all really full from dinner but I wasn't leaving till I had this. We ordered it and my mom, brother, and Ray combined for like 1/3 of the whole boat. I took it upon myself to eat the remains of the boat and iceberg-ed it. To get an idea of how big it is just imagine a picnic table and make it chocolaty. That's a slight exaggeration but you get the idea.
  4. Pound-off. Fuddrucker's is the place for burgers where one can select from several sizes 1/3, 1/2, 2/3, and one pound burgers. One day Brad, Larry, Tom, and myself decided to do a pound-off where we each get the #1 (burger, fries, and shake) but in the pound size. As expected I finished first as usual. I didn't even get a regular burger. Mine had bacon and cheese and all the condiments. After I ate mine I proceeded to pick at the fries of Tom and Larry, as they couldn't finish theirs. I drank the shake and ate my fries, but I hope that was understood when I said I was eating others' food. I've since done several other pound-offs, but nothing will have the memories of the first one. The only other one that comes to mind is the time I went on a 10 mile hike and played basketball without eating. I was just plain hungry so I wanted a pounder to quench my appetite.
  5. Pizza Time. When I was a fatty in high school, I would order and eat an entire large pie every half-day for lunch. We typically had one every 3 weeks for faculty meetings, so that's how often I ate a large pie. The pizzas weren't huge, probably around 16", but that is no small feat. I would do this because I was too lazy to make my own lunch and I felt stupid having a small pie delivered to me. Since I can't let food go to waste I would just eat the entire thing. This was back in the day though. I think the next pizza feat for me would be to eat a 26" Mario's pizza (scroll down to see the pizza part). Its not the best, but it is big, and my motto for food is quantity over quality.

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