Monday, November 19, 2007

Honoring 50: Best of the Rest

Here are a bunch of instances that I either don't want to tell the full tale (laziness) or there isn't a full story to tell, so I am throwing it all in here. Enjoy:
  • One of my brother's and my favorite stories involves Monopoly. Jay and I are dominating my dad, and at one point we own half the board all consecutive spaces. To keep the game going we allow one to pay back owed rent at a later time. So my dad is near bankruptcy and he lands on one of Jason's spots. He rolls again (cause its doubles) and he lands on another Jay spot with a hotel, then rolls again and lands on mine with hotel (like Boardwalk). The whole time he is making this sarcastic noise and just making an utter fool. Me and Jay are rolling on the floor laughing. Literally!
  • Another board game story involves Pictionary. He gets a card that has him draw a blind man or something, and he ends up drawing the worst dog in history. There are seriously way better cave paintings than this. Once again my brother and I are rolling on the floor laughing.
  • The day I got hit by a car was a pretty big event. My dad went upstairs while I was riding my bike in the parking lot of the complex. From what I hear my dad jumped off the 5 story balcony (no chute this time) immediately after I got hit.
  • Another time my brother got his heel sliced open by a huge metal door and had to get stitches for it. My dad carried him on his back to the hospital while running 60mph to get there. Of course he even stopped at red lights. Thats how amazing it was.
  • My dad tells the same story to everyone about my youth. Well actually he tells several of the same stories. The most common is of me as a baby. He always says "You used to fit right on my forearm, and you'd just lay there. Then when I would come get you in the mornings you would just wait inside your crib." He would do all this while making stupid hand motions to provide more details to these events. Another story is "Remember the movie from the house? 'And this is my room, right Dad?' 'No Anthony, that's a closet.' 'And this is the closet, right Dad?'" That one is the most annoying, mostly because I'm retarded.
  • He has the best phrases too. Jason always does something stupid to which he replies, "Do I have to tell you not to do that?" He has so many mottos too. He has a saying for everything. He keeps talking about a book of quotes that he wants to make. When we were younger and did something wrong or stupid we would always get these ridiculously long chats. No lie they were at least an hour long. Jay and I called them the Daddy Speech.
  • My favorite Dad-ism is when my dad would start talking to me while I'm doing something or watching TV. I would sit there and half ignore him, and then he would realize this and say "Are you paying attention?" Lorraine caught this once and started in with him. She was all like "He's busy and then you started talking to him and expect him to listen to you." I put my face in a pillow and just laughed hysterically as they argued it out.
  • I just remembered another great one. My dad would get real tired at night and then get cranky. Whenever he got fed up with Jason (who is pretty ridiculous most of the time) he would be like "You're tired...go to bed!" That always made me laugh. Now-a-days my brother responds "You're need to go to bed!" Instant classic.


Dad said...

I am sure the list goes on.
I forgot about that pathetic drawing, hey but you guys were able to guess it, right? that is at least how I remembered it...
Thanks Anthony...

MOM said...

You always make me crack up

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