Tuesday, November 6, 2007

50 Years: The Pudding Debacle

This is one of my favorite stories to tell and one that my family likes to hear the most. The reason for this is the story itself is told with such over-exaggeration, but actually happened in a very over-reacting way anyways so the over-exaggeration is warranted.

My dad, Lorraine, Jason, and I are vacationing out in Cape Cod, Mass. We are all preparing dinner after a long day of whatever we were doing. Even though we are a beach family we spent very little time there, because the water at this time of year was like in the 50's (which is pretty cold if you haven't experienced it), so we were probably out at the Cape Cod Potato Chips Factory (my fav chip), or whale watching, or fishing, or something. For all intents and purposes I will embelish and say we just got home from a 20 mile bike ride (we did a bike ride at some point during the trip, maybe it was like 10 miles total and probably wasn't this day either). Since it was a 20 mile bike ride you know we are all hungry (I'm starving because that's the only mode of hunger I have outside of not hungry).

The family prepares dinner, and I am designated dessert. I decide to make the most awesome Jello pudding the world has ever tasted. I am totally deep into the pudding, I mean I'm going on hour 3 of the project and suddenly I need a whisk cause I'm at the stirring phase. I have literally 10 seconds to find the whisk and begin stirring otherwise the pudding will go horribly, horrible bad. Or so my father has me believe.

At first he is agitated that he has to cook and look over my shoulder to make the pudding. I mean who doesn't know how to make pudding right? Get off my back already...jeez. Then you can literally begin to see sweat beads come down his face as time is winding down. If I don't find something, anything to stir this pudding the world is going to explode. I mean there is a bomb set and it's going up in flames. I reach into a drawer and pull out some crazy shaped utensil. It looks like it could stir well, right?

Wrong, what I had in my hands was a potato masher. I had never seen one before and so didn't know what this foreign object that I held in my hand was. My dad has steam coming out of his ears by now and his face is beat red. He is brewing and primed to explode if this pudding doesn't get stirred.

Next thing I know, he flips out! You have never seen anything like this. Everything on the stove gets thrown up in the air and immediately ignites into flames. Car alarms are going off, cats are crying out of tune, thunder and lightning, fish are flying and birds are swimming, we are talking mass hysteria. The ground is trembling as he storms his way over to my location. "What the f---?" He bellows. "What are you doooooiiiiiiiingaaaa? THE PUDDING IS LUMPY!!!!" Caps lock just doesn't do this justice. It was like Zeus yelling from atop Mt. Olympus.

He snatches the bowl out of my hands. He smashes his way through the cabinets for something that can be used to stir. He rips a drawer right out and grabs a fork. Who uses a fork to stir, a spoon yes, but a fork? C'mon! Anyways, with fork in hand, he begins to spin the most violent Pudding whirlpool. People in Kansas have had more warning time. Pudding is now flying all over the room and after this mess there was a casualty. Poor Jason is covered in chocolate pudding. He now has more brown on him than white and is crying his eyes out. "What did I ever do to you?" Poor kid, such trauma that no one should have to go through especially at such a young age.


TestingTFV said...

{{Instant Classic}}

Antman said...


The Star said...

Well told yarn...that gets better and better each time I hear it. Next time I will bring popcorn. I could not stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

As I remember, the pudding went all over your favorite Knicks shirt not on Jason. You were too blinded by the pudding to see straight.
Love, Lorraine

The Star said...

Well told yarn...that gets better and better each time I hear it. Next time I will bring popcorn. I could not stop laughing.

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