Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Dollar Theater Escapades

This is a fairly new experience in my life.  Don't get me wrong, I've been to dollar theaters before, but it has been nothing like the charades that goes on down here in the 505.  So let me introduce you to the Cinemark Dollar Theater, which I shall never refer to in its full name because, lets face it that is way to long to type and we all know how incredibly lazy I am.  I don't even wanna write dollar theater anymore.  I need a more substitute nickname.  Maybe CDT?  I don't like it...but anyways:

So here is how this works.  When a movie comes out in theaters it gains revenue prolly for like a month before its not really worth the price.  Then there is this time span when no one sees the movie until its DVD release.  This is where the concept of a cheap theater comes into play.  After about a month since a movie's release, the movie is played in this building where ticket prices are on the range of $1-2.  Seems strange doesn't it.  Well the format is similar to regular films.  People gather in the auditorium, sit in uncomfortable seats, watch trailers followed by a movie that the customer preselected, and eat popcorn, candy, and drink soft drinks.  They do all this just to make people feel comfortable that nothing bad will happen to them (like an anal raping) since the consumers are so used to paying on the order of $10 for this exact same film.

Whats the catch?  I would like to tell you there is none, but the true deal is that you have to deal with all the other paying persons.  (I just thought of how if you pay the $10 to see, say Transformers, you would be prone to sneak into a movie, but if you pay $1 you feel bad sneaking in cause its so damn cheap.)  I have to say the experience of watching the movie is similar to watching it in Puerto Rico.  They pump the AC way up, blast the speakers, talk on the phone, and beat their kids, all during the movie.  I guess its just hispanic nature to be as uncourteous as possible.  

Tonight we saw Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End.  There were so many children in the theater, granted it is a Disney movie, but they were all babies.  I don't think they are gonna remember what they are watching, or care, or even have a clue what is going on.  I'm pretty sure they can't even see the screen and really only know that there is a loud noise and bright light disturbing their sleep.  The woman in front of me decided to play with her crying child halfway through the movie.  Loudly.  Fun for me.

A week ago we saw Ocean's 13.  The people behind us were so annoying.  And stupid.  There was a scene where they showed the number of some hotel room.  Obviously the director is trying to say something.  The people behind us had to deduce all this...out loud.  "1106, I bet that is gonna be important.  What do you think it will be used for?  What's the gilroy?  Who is that guy?" they would say.  Shut up.  They will explain all that in the movie, and if you can't figure it out you deserve to be shot in the foot and asked to figure out why I did that to you.  And when you can't figure it out I will shoot your other foot and tell you that you did this to yourself and how I have no clue why you just pulled out a gun and shot yourself in both feet.  The sad thing is that these people would believe me.  

You know how in NY you would hear in the news things that you don't think people normally think like or act like.  Like how is the entire country afraid of terrorism when it is really only a threat in major metropolitan areas.  New Mexicans are these people.  They are the idiots in school that got everyone in trouble.  Case in point:  I went to this place last weekend and met this woman who told me she voted for Bush.  I'm fine with that.  Then she said he hasn't done such a bad job with the country.  He's trying real hard.  He just has some bad advice.  I think that when you follow the bad advice you are now doing a bad job.  

Anyways this has turned from a rant about the movies into a rant about New Mexicans.  I will post more about both in days of future past.  As for the movies.  If you haven't seen Ocean's, do.  If you haven't seen Pirates 3, don't.  That is my review for those movies.  Future dollar theater must sees:  Superbad, Transformers (I saw it on opening night), Bourne Ultimatum, something else I can't remember.

1 comment:

dad said...

I love the idea of the Dollar ($ or $1) theatre...

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